Self Care: hype or helpful and how can dogs be incorporated into our self-care routines?

We see the word self-care used all over Internet culture these days especially on social media. We also hear the word used in our exercise classes, by our therapists, in our work environments and in advertisements. So what is self-care? What does it mean and do we benefit from it?

In short, the answer is yes.

In this blog post, we will detail how it benefits us and how we can incorporate our dogs into our self-care routines. We will also sift through the toxic positivity and perfectionism that has unfortunately been attached to the word.

What is self-care?

Self-care is taking time every day for yourself to engage in behaviors or activities that promote your overall wellbeing. Self-care is personal and what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for others. Let’s look at some examples of self-care:

-       Taking the time to slow down and look at a view, or your pet, or at your ceiling.

-       Engaging in physical activity whether it is walking or a kick boxing class.

-       Cleaning and organizing your surroundings.

-       Connecting with friends and family.

-       Drinking some tea or eating food that feels nutritious.

-       Giving yourself permission to eat something that you enjoy.

-       Meeting with a therapist or other professional once a week.

-       Engaging in mindfulness practices.

-       Reading a book in the sun.

-       Taking time to ask yourself  “what do I need to today?”

Self-care is a practice and we need to find what works for us in our daily lives. There is always room for self-care even if it doesn’t feel like it! Self-care is not a luxury and is vital for our health. It is important to prioritize it to take care of ourselves. Self-care includes routines that contribute to a healthier mind, body, and spirit.

How does self-care work? 

            The journal Everyday Health has summed up some research about self-care including that frequent self-care practices leads to less stress and benefits physical and emotional health. Research has also been found that self-care helps people better manage stressful situations and linked self-care practices to longevity.

To better understand self-care we will look at it under different categories all are equally important. Physical self-care includes caring for your body. Think the term “my body is my temple”. In order for us to function adequately we need to take care of our vehicle by getting enough sleep, exercise, and nourishment. We are social creatures and connecting with others is essential for our health, thus the social self-care category includes things like calling friends and making time to meet with people who are inspiring and important to us. Mental self-care includes taking care of your mind including doing things to keep your mind sharp, or engaging in hobbies that interest you, and practicing self-compassion. Spiritual self-care has been found by research to be very important for our health. Traditionally people have found these practices through religion, but doesn’t necessarily have to be. You can practice spiritual self-care through connecting with nature and practicing mindful mediation. Emotional self-care involves developing coping skills to process our feelings in a healthy way. If we struggle with this, therapy is a good place to learn tools to do so.

How to include our dogs in our self-care routines

There are so many wonderful ways to include our pups in our self-care routines. Below are examples you can practice self-care with your dog for each self-care category:

-       Physical self-care: Dogs need physical exercise. They give us daily opportunities to help us take care of our bodies. Taking them out for a walk, hike, or run is great for our physical self- care. Playing with them is also a fabulous way for our bodies to engage in physical activity.

-       Mental self-care: Engage in activities with your dog that interests you. It could be taking time to play with them, visiting an outdoor museum or park, practice training with them, cuddling up on the couch to watch the latest documentary, or read a book with them.

-       Social self-care: Our dogs give us an amazing opportunity to make friends with other dog parents or have brief social connections with people at the dog park for example. Our dogs can help us enrich our social lives. Of course connecting with them also gives us moments to nourish our social needs.

-       Spiritual self-care: We can go out into nature with our dogs and connect with the natural world nourishing our spirits. We also can engage in spiritual practices such as meditation and prayer and incorporate our dogs by either having them with us or have them in our thoughts.

-       Emotional self-care: Our dogs help us with our emotional self-care by emotionally supporting us when we are struggling with difficult feelings. They often intuitively know how to help us in times of emotional distress like but not exclusive to licking our faces. On the flip side, when we feel frustrated with our dogs, we can practice coping with our feelings in a healthy way instead of lashing out. It gives us an opportunity to practice managing our emotions.

What is not self-care?

-       It is not a one size fits all

-       It is not buying products that are being sold to you on the premise of self-care

-       Self-care will never be enough if you are in a toxic work or family environment

-       It doesn’t have to be consuming goods and services such as spa days

-       It is not engaging in self destructive behaviors such as binge drinking or smoking

-       Self-care does not mean being you’re being selfish

I have seen the term self-care be grossly misused in a few ways. When I worked in organizations I often saw managers putting the onus on employees that they need to do more self-care in order to feel better. What employers were implying is that if employees were overwhelmed that it was their fault instead of looking at bigger picture of issues within the working environment. You can do all of the yoga and healthy eating you want, but if you are in a toxic environment where your overworked, micromanaged, and have overall low morale you will not feel better. In these situations, it is on leadership to make sure that their employees feel safe and motivated at work. If leadership doesn’t understand this, sometimes changing jobs is the actual act of self-care.

The same goes for family dynamics. I once worked with a client in a therapeutic relationship that came from a very difficult home situation. Her previous therapists and teachers were constantly trying to teach he coping or “self-care” skills but she was not able to implement them. When we worked together our primary goal became where can she go live in order to be able to use the tools she learned. We were able to get her out of the toxic environment when she moved in with another relative. From that day forward she began implementing the self care routines she loved including hiking and boxing.

Another way I’ve seen the word used in a toxic manner is on social media and advertisements for products or services that are selling self-care. You often see the phrase “treat yourself” on social media, which I think is valid but that phrase has come from a consumerist starting point. Treating yourself is basically another word for “buy stuff to make yourself feel better”. Again, there is nothing wrong with sometimes going to the spa or having a nice dinner or having a shopping day. Trust me its some of my personal favorite things to do, BUT it is more of an act of self soothing rather than a self care practice. Meaning it is things we do to feel better in the moment and doesn’t necessarily contribute to our health and wellbeing.

The last way I’ve seen self care misused is with a perfectionist mindset. “In order for me to be healthiest and happiest, I need to cram in all of these activities such as yoga for two hours, never eat unhealthy food, read 5 books a month etc… and if I don’t do these things then I am a bad person”. I see this rhetoric unintentionally pushed in a lot of fitness, health food, and influencer scenes. This is just another form of perfectionism and does not contribute to wellness. In fact, it is damaging and harmful to our wellbeing.

Final Thoughts

Finding a self-care regimen that is appropriate for what is going on in your life is important and this will also change depending on what life stage your in. For example, if you have a demanding job maybe self-care routines include ensuring you get enough physical activity and remembering to step outside for fresh air as much as possible. If you’re retired maybe the priority is more on social connections and making sure you are taking care of yourself in that sphere of self-care. We need to be open and flexible in our self-care routines to maximize the benefits and remember your pup is always there to join you.

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